Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused (By E. F. Sheehan)

Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2017
Pam has had a childhood that most people wouldn't recover from. Nonetheless, she's trying to make a life for herself, with a job and a beautiful Russian lover. When she takes up the offer of high paid escort work, the life she worked to build starts falling apart. As she tumbles from one problem to the next, who will save her? Her mother, who caused all the trauma? Her sensual, hard-drinking lover, who is off the rails? Or the handsome martial arts teacher she may be falling for?

Pam's life has never been easy. Having lost her father early in life, she was then repeatedly raped by her stepfather as a child. It then came as no surprise that, when old enough, she got involved in a sexual relationship with a woman, having lost her trust in men a long time ago. But life did not get much more merciful with her. Caught in a dead-end waitressing job, mostly due to her refusal to be close to her mother, both her personal and her work life are getting less and less pleasant. Her live-in-lover, Faina, is getting moodier and moodier. As for Faina being faithful, it seems that not being lonely ranks way higher on Faina's list than being faithful. Then Pam meets Darryl, a strangely appealing young man, and starts a whirlwind romance with him. She also gets a different job, which is way better paid, but also way more detrimental to Pam's sanity and safety. Dealing with her confused sexuality, perennial lack of luck (can you say beating, betrayal, rape and more?) and unresolved feelings towards her badly messed-up mother, Pam is caught in an ill-fated quest for her true self, love, respect and a safe harbor.E. F. Sheehan's "Toast With Jelly" is a heart-breakingly sad and scary book. Deeply touching, with a fluid, fast moving storyline that is both relevant and contemporary, dealing with one woman's pursuit of happiness and her perennial sexual confusion, this is a book without any heroes, just victims and villains. While I cannot say I got particularly emotionally close to any of the characters, I have to say that they were believable, realistic and three-dimensional. E. F. Sheehan's writing is honest and oftentimes raw, always vivid and hard-hitting. Pam's utter confusion is tangible, if not completely understandable to me. While I can clearly understand the desire to pile all the ills of the world upon Pam, a part of me was begging for a break for this unfortunate victim of pitiless, clearly male-dominated world. It was just really hard to see the "heroine," who's anything but heroic, go from a lackluster existence to incredible, nightmarish depths of misery and self-loathing. If this book was written as a catharsis, I sure hope it helped E. F. Sheehan. If you do not shy from raw and bleak facets of life, if you are accepting of the "alternative" lifestyles and if a happy ending is not a requirement for you to enjoy a book, pick up E. F. Sheehan's "Toast With Jelly" and get ready for an emotional, dramatic and profoundly genuine book. Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (5/09) 4 STARSJun 25, 2009 12:08:00 AM | Fiction - Romance